Here’s the bad news: there’s been some serious biphobia stirring in the gay community. Let me repeat, the gay community. Not like it’s okay for straight people to hate bisexuals, but I find it ironic that those who suffer prejudice due to their sexualities would perpetuate the cycle further. It’s similar to how I find it strange when black people condemn homosexuality using biblical arguments, when those same arguments kept them from getting married (and kept them enslaved) not too many years ago.
Dan Savage, a leader in the gay community, cast doubt on the authenticity of those who declare themselves bisexual. Glee, a popular musical comedy well-known for its support of gay rights, sends negative messages regarding bisexuality on several occasions. No one is perfect and even those who preach tolerance make mistakes, but if these paragons of acceptance diss bisexuality, who knows how many people will follow in their footsteps?
Let me tell you a secret. When I first came out to my select group of friends, I came out as bisexual.
“Lies!” you scream. Well, now, yes. I’m definitely gay. But a few years ago, maybe not, at least to me. Here was my reasoning, even if I wasn’t aware of it: it was better to be halfway gay than all the way gay, I wasn’t entirely sure of myself because straight was (and is) the predominant sexuality in society, and being able to say that I still liked girls gave me a shoddy form of protection. Bisexuality provided me with a shield to block all the hate of my more homophobic peers and my completely homophobic mother while allowing me to admit that I liked guys.
Turns out I was wrong. I’m gay. And, trust me, I’m not the type of person who likes to wear his sexuality on his sleeve; I’m not ashamed of it, I just think it’s better for people to know me as the book-obsessed Asian who freaks out over A-’s. That way my peers will
falsely assume I’m smart, and I’ll get Barnes & Noble gift cards.
Like my current grade in AP Biology, sexuality remains a fluid concept. Some people are straight, some people are homosexual, some people are demisexual, etc. Yes, some people can be confused about their sexualities, and sure, there may be others out there who identify as bisexual just because they don’t know that they’re gay or straight yet. But that doesn’t change this simple fact. There are living, breathing, bisexual people out there. There are teens who are bisexual. Adults who are bisexual. Dolphins who are bisexual. Okay, I’m not sure about that last one, but I think it would be kind of cool.
Bisexuality is not a big deal. Sexuality is not a big deal, period. I apologize for inserting ubiquitous aphorism #228, but the amount of people who can’t process it
scares me more than the thought of being alone for the rest of my life frightens me. Just because someone is bisexual does not mean he or she is more likely to cheat in a relationship. Just because someone is bisexual does not mean that he or she wants attention from everyone and wants everyone to love him or her. Just because someone is bisexual does not mean he or she is in denial and will go on to live a life of unproductive indecision. Being bisexual means that someone finds him or herself physically and romantically attracted to both males and females. That’s it.
Now that you’ve received your daily dose of common sense, here’s a picture of a dolphin. Maybe it’s bisexual, maybe it’s not? Who cares?
Remember how I started this post with the bad news? I have good news too, though it’s more personal and I’ll have to wait to share it until around April 1. If you want to get an early glimpse you can check out my tumblr, but either way expect an ecstatic post from me in a few weeks. Hope you all have a pulchritudinous weekend!