The Decision (College Post #3)

One of the many beautiful buildings at William and Mary. (image via businessweek.com)

After a couple of difficult weeks, I’ve made my college decision. Starting in the fall, I will attend the most pulchritudinous university in the world (in my unbiased opinion, of course): The College of William and Mary!

Does This GPA Make My Ivy League Application Look Fat? (College Post #2)

AP Bio: the bane of my existence.

An A- isn’t an A, just like failure isn’t success. If you can’t push yourself to manage family, extracurricular activities, and academics, you need to reevaluate your sense of self-worth. If you can’t resist the temptation of that romance novel five feet away from you, you do not deserve dinner today. These are some of my thoughts from the past few years, and if you’re a high school student, I can guess one of yours: if I don’t get into a good college, then I’m not smart. I’m not successful. I’ve failed.

Calling All Rejects (College Post #1)

“Hey,” it says, cradling my confidence, one whisper from taking it away. “You’re not good enough.”

It came to me again, seven hours ago, in a cafe ten minutes away from home. I opened my email to check the results of my last four college applications. Sitting in that tiny booth, with bread crumbs spilled across the seat, I discovered my academic destiny.

One acceptance, along with the three I had already received. Four total. Good.

Two wait-lists. Ouch.

One rejection. Burn.

Spring Break!

I haven’t posted in over a week. Now that I have a week of spring break to recuperate, here’s a quickie to keep my imaginary readers all of you guys updated.

A running river near my friend’s cabin. If you’re tempted to swim in it, let me tell you: you are not alone.

For the past few days I stayed with a friend and his family in their cozy cabin without internet access or cell phone service.

Personal Update: Progress

The year isn’t even over yet and I’ve already won! Victory.

Two nights ago I submitted all of my college applications. I can’t pinpoint the feeling that followed – it was a mixture of hope, anxiety, euphoria, and relief.

I remember that at the beginning of high school, I had no idea who I was. I didn’t know my passions and I had no plans for the future. Self-deprecating thoughts consumed me and my fear of my mother  made me anxious to escape, even though I had no idea how I would do that.

But I’ve made it so far, as cliche and conceited as that sounds.

Positive Discrimination (AKA, Why Affirmative Action Should Be Banned)

If the Supreme Court decides for gay marriage and against race-based affirmative action, my 2013 will be made.

I’m sure anyone who has read my blog for more than a week knows how I feel about gay marriage. Affirmative action, on the other hand, I haven’t addressed. Maybe it’s because I’m in the midst of college admissions season, or maybe it’s because I’m feeling frustrated from a lack of sleep, but the absolute unfairness of affirmative action – and the fact that so few are saying anything about it – drives me to publish this post.

I hear people say all the time that race-based affirmative action is supposed to ameliorate past injustices. That’s almost completely inaccurate – instead of healing past wounds, it’s opening new ones. Statistics show that Asian-Americans, and to a lesser extent, Caucasians, are disadvantaged in the college admissions process solely because of their race.

A is for Admission by Michele Hernandez

Cover via newlatina.net.

Rating: 5/5 stars.

I finished this in four hours. I read it in August, as a rising senior with college applications waiting to be started – what I can I say?

While I can confidently say that I had a roughly accurate idea of how admissions worked, this book refined some of my beliefs and heightened others that I already held. The academic index and the finer details regarding parental involvement/guidance counselor/teacher recommendations were intriguing. It would help if all of those involved in the admissions process possessed a good grasp of the concepts presented in this guide.

I was worried that this book would focus too much on how to get high SAT or scores or how to superficially solidify my application.

How to Handle a Gay Roommate

A couple of weeks ago, I saw quite a few tweets like this one:

I would screenshot an actual tweet I saw, but I feel like that might be a little overboard, even if I did blur the person’s name. Hopefully no one thinks I’m homophobic…

I can see why someone would fear having a gay roommate. He might be scared of being checked out or that his roommate may come on to him. He could be afraid that his roommate will let his lust loose at night and attack him while he’s sleeping. I understand all of the stereotypical reasons why someone would be scared of a gay roommate.

Allow me to offer reassurance.

Grades vs. Learning… and Lots of Self-Inflicted Insults

A few hours ago, I opened my email and immediately wanted to cry.

I love to learn. I know, I’m a nerd, but I do. The power to attain knowledge and the ability to use it are privileges I am eternally grateful for. So why, then, did I feel this pain upon seeing a B+ as my Physics grade? Why do I care about something as insignificant as a letter grade, something that is not even indicative of what I’ve actually learned in class?

I never was very good at art.

To put it simply, it’s because I want to get into a good college. Just like a plethora of my sleep-deprived, academically-obsessed friends, I want an A. Sure, I’ve been raised by my family to strive for great grades, yet there’s also an intrinsic motivation inside of me that makes me obsessed with earning the highest mark. It’s like getting a job – for some, the salary is all that matters. Yet now I’m beginning to realize that that’s not all there is to it.

So many of my peers are smart and intelligent. I know some of the brightest people – not because they’re going to go to Ivy League colleges, but because I can tell that they truly think about things. These people may not necessarily be those on the straight-A honor roll (though there are plenty that are), yet they are individuals I enjoy spending time with regardless.

There are others, though, that do get straight-A’s – and may or may not be intelligent. I know people who have cheated just to get that A, who have plagiarized or committed some other violation of the honor code that would cause their teachers to shake their heads in shame.

What I’m getting at is this: grades are grades. Just like how gays are gays. That’s all there is to it. I can complain, whine, moan and fail to take advantage of all the resources I have around me, or I can keep my head high and do my best to learn.

Of course I’m not going to start skipping school to or doing anything crazy, because in a way, grades do matter. The current education system is shaped in a way that getting good grades is essential to getting into a good college, and getting into a good college is necessary (for most of the time) for those who want to really learn and achieve success. I know that my goals in life require a college degree. But grades are, well, grades, and not the only factor in an college application or in life.

I know, what a wonderful way to start the weekend – ranting on the internet. If only I had friends. But hey, at least I’ve learned (ha, get it? the post is about learning? I wish I was funny…) something through this. In fact, my English teacher told us that some people write to learn. Maybe one of those people is me. But then again, that would imply that I’m special… which I’m not.

I think I'll use Paint images more often from now on. Hm.

All jokes aside, what do you guys think of grades vs. learning? I know there are some of you out there who are GPA obsessed-freaks worrywarts like me. Now that I think about it, grades can help motivate students to learn, though that’s not always the case. Opinions please!

Why High School Relationships Fail

Image via akronchildrens.org

Sometimes, I’m a cynic. My belief in the inevitable failure of 95% of high school relationships to last until marriage exemplifies this.

The majority of high school students want to fit in. It’s human nature – at this adolescent stage of life, fitting in is as important as getting good grades or scoring high on the SAT. Even more important, to some. I don’t believe in the stereotypical groups presented in television shows: the jocks, the preps, the goths, loners, nerds, etc. However, I do think that there are variances to those archetypes that accumulate in what I like to call the “high school caste system”. More about that in a future post.

So what does fitting in have to do with relationships? It’s simple – if you’re in a relationship, you fit in, but you don’t try to fit in. It’s killing two birds with one stone. The typical teen will assume that their boyfriend/girlfriend doesn’t care about looks, or what other people think, and my personal favorite – loves them for who they are. So the individual in the relationship will assume that they’re free from their peers’ expectations, but they’re actually falling right into them. Just look at television shows like Degrassi or Glee or Smallville. All of these feature teens in unrealistically happy relationships – but then again, it’s reality television: where reality is equal to exorbitant drama and partying on the beaches of  Jersey Shore.

Another reason high school relationships fail is due to the fact that to the people who are in them: teenagers. This is probably going to earn me criticism from my peers, but honestly, we are not the most mature bunch. Some of us, anyway. I’ve separated the people in high school relationships into three categories (inspired by my brilliant Latin teacher):

Those who care about themselves intentionally: These are the people who date because they want the relationship, not the other person in the relationship. I see this more than I would like to, but in a myriad of cases the feeling is mutual among the participants of the “relationship”. 0% of these relationships survive, because essentially, they aren’t relationships to begin with.

Those who care about themselves unintentionally: This is a difficult category. Here’s how my Latin teacher explained it: imagine two people dating. They’re going to be Joe and Janice.

Joe: Oh Janice, I love the way you make me feel! You make me so happy!

Janice: Oh Joe, all those sweet things you say to me and the gifts you buy me make me just want to die! (of happiness, I guess)

Notice how prominent “me” is. I obviously exaggerated this to prove my point, but in a lot of relationships – not just those found in high school – person A will claim to care about person B, but in fact person A only cares about person B because they’re trying to satisfy themselves. Think about it.

Those who care about the other person: This is where I make myself doubt that even 5% of high school relationships truly succeed, because getting to this level of trust with another person is impossible until one possesses significant maturity and independence. This group is reserved for the love between parent and child, sibling and sibling, and other rare circumstances – imagine how much time you would have to spend with a person until you could achieve that with them. Certainly more than four years. To love someone to the point where you would sacrifice your own well-being, truly sacrifice it, not just “I would catch a grenade for ya” sacrifice, but promising eternal faithfulness and unconditional understanding – that is the zenith of a relationship.

Thinking about that hurt my head a little, so I’ll move on to other more simple reasons why these relationships don’t last:

Image via Cynaide and Happiness

Sex. Violence. Drinking. All of those detract from the depth of a relationship, and because those things are so prevalent in high school, they decrease the amount of successful relationships. Not to mention college – I might write a post later on about why long distance relationships fail, if I have time. Basically, you can promise your significant other that you’ll love them even when you’re miles, countries, or worlds apart – but it’s easier said than done.

Teenagers also tend to think that their boyfriends and girlfriends are better than they actually are, or over analyze the emotions involved in the relationship, instead of actually, well, dating. This quote explains what I’m trying to say:

“Never idealize others. They will never live up to your expectations. Don’t over-analyze your relationships. Stop playing games. A growing relationship can only be nurtured by genuineness.” – Leo F. Buscaglia.

Well, that was fun. Maybe I should start a series called “Sunday Morning Cynicism.”

I want to end this delightful post by saying that I do not intend to offend anyone – I have several friends in relationships and wish them the best. This is just my personal opinion, and others are free to argue. I hope they argue, actually, because if not the world would be depressing. I consider myself a romantic person, and yet here I go writing this… what a two-faced freak.