Getting Help for Child Abuse

… is not as easy as it seems.

Image via newagejourney.com

When most people see or hear of an abused child, they think  “They should get help,” or, “They have to tell someone.” It’s natural, because ever since we were young, we have had individuals to tell our problems to, like our parents and friends. We’ve had people to protect us in times of crisis and danger, like the police, who are only a phone call away at any given time. The right thing to do is to get help, to find a way out, to escape the harm, the hurt, or the suffering.

But what if you can’t?

I have a confession to make: I’m a victim of child abuse. There. I’ve said it. This post itself is inspired by something my mom said to me today, something that probably isn’t polite and actually is downright mean. However, even though she’s yelled at me and hurt me since I was a toddler, I refuse to get help or contact an authority.

Call me a hypocrite, I deserve it. I would call myself a hypocrite. If any other person was in my situation, I would immediately urge them to get help – and if they refused, I would do it for them. Here’s the number, by the way, if you are a victim of child abuse or know someone who is: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453). Call the number if need be, please. Ignore what I said earlier, just call.

Image via facesofangels.blog.blogspot.com

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something, but couldn’t find the words the articulate it? Have you ever wished that you could reveal a secret, but was unsure of the possible consequences? Those are some of the things that run through my mind every day, and I’m sure they affect others, too.

Here are some of the reasons why I don’t get help, even when I know I should:
– I doubt people would believe me. I’m a fifteen-year-old male, nearing sixteen (in six days). I should be able to stand up for myself, right? But I don’t. I don’t have any physical scars to show, either – just broken self-esteem and a plethora of personal issues.
– How would it affect others people besides me? My mom does a lot of things around the house, like taking me to places for school or sports, getting groceries, etc. Although the majority of my family has received abusive treatment from her, realistically, we would have trouble functioning without her (we would be a lot happier, though).
– There are people who have it worse. Much, much worse. Why should I get help when there are children starving in the streets or entire communities destroyed by natural disasters?

I’m so conflicted. What I’m trying to communicate with writing this post is that even though a person may be physically capable of seeking protection, they may not be capable for other reasons, whether it be moral, emotional, etc. So please, get help for them.

Also, let me reiterate to those who might be suffering from child abuse right now – get help. I know it’s hard, trust me, I do. And despite the reasons I listed above, I do talk to people. Mainly my closest friends, who are so supportive that I honestly wonder where I would be today if it weren’t for their compassion and understanding. Talking to them helps a lot. If you can find anyone to talk to, like a teacher, coach, a friend’s parent, etc. I highly recommend it.

If you don’t have anyone in your life you feel like you can talk to, you can always call this number: 1-800-422-4453. And if you’re not up for that, I’m right here – just leave a comment or contact me privately via my contact information page – I promise I’ll respond asap.

Not the funnest thing to read, but an important message to share. Writing this post alleviated some of my own stress as well, which is one of the reasons I love blogging. Most likely back to books or pop next time around, have a great one and stay safe until then. (:

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19 Comments

Filed under Personal

19 responses to “Getting Help for Child Abuse

  1. I can see your conflict from this post itself; you’re alternating between telling people to get help and then saying how you won’t…but I understand. It’s not like there’s a perfect world where the police come and take all the problems away; it just makes things so much more complicated and empty and traumatic.
    I’m so proud of you for opening up and admitting these things; not only to the internet, but perhaps for yourself. I know how actually writing things down suddenly makes them more real. I got your text, and I’m so glad that I’ve been able to help. You’re an amazing friend too; if I could have another brother, it would be you! I love you ^_^

    • Exactly. I feel like the fact that people suffer through any form of abuse exemplifies the unfairness of life. I’m a little afraid of the repercussions of seeking help, but with only two years left until college, I think I’ll survive. However, there are many children and teens experiencing similar things to me or worse, and that they shouldn’t hesitate to get help no matter what.

      Thanks! It’s a lot to open up about, but if I hadn’t met you I might have gone crazy trying to keep it all in before. Not like I’m not crazy now, but… anyway, love you too! (;

  2. RabidBunnyD

    You’re not alone in believing that, well, you won’t be believed. A lot of people ask “well, if someone has abused you, why didn’t you every report it?” And it’s not just child abuse, it’s sexual assault, it’s spousal abuse. All of it. The person comes to believe, either through their own thoughts or through the words and actions of their abuser, that no one will believe them if they come forward. They take their hope away, and without hope there’s little a person can do on their own.

    But having somebody to tell, somebody to talk to, is important. To keep that kind of thing bottled up just isn’t healthy, and it can affect everything else in your life. I’m sorry to hear about your situation, and I hope things get better for you soon. I know when I took Self Defense in college, it opened my eyes to the true statistics on sexual abuse, and helped me to come to terms with some other parts of my life that, for now, I won’t go into detail about. But having a group of people who have been through something similar, who share that pain, can also help. I understand you can’t do a lot when the abuser is your provider, but you should look into some sort of anonymous group as well. It helped me a lot and I think it could help you too.

  3. Les Kyles

    Have you read about a study that discussed how different cognitive variables affect the development of symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder.
    http://www.dailyrx.com/news-article/littlest-victims-3813.html
    Thank you for your bravery!

  4. Band Geek

    if your up for talking i need some help. email me at bandgeek1788@yahoo.com

  5. Varvara

    Hi I am adopted and have been through both emotional and physical abuse with my dad please try to tell me what to do!!

    • Call this number! 1-800-422-4453

      • Varvara

        Thx Thomas!! I have done this but did not get much help and I will and have kept trying!!

        • You’re welcome – in the mean time are there any adults you can tell like aunts or uncles? You said you’re adopted so it must be tough… school is ending but maybe a teacher or a coach or someone who can get help for you too?

          • Varvara

            I told mom and we went to counseling but the counselor never helped much😪

            • That’s not fair at all, I’m sorry. It’s unfortunate that even your mom and the counselor couldn’t help – at this point, I would seriously consider calling the police. They would take you seriously.

          • Varvara

            Well I just wish someone understood me and how it feels but they can’t cause I put on a fake smiling mask on everyday and inside I dying but no person knows..

          • Varvara

            Thomas I have an idia never mind thx I now what to do thank you for your help!!😃

            • You’re welcome, but please keep me updated on what happens! You won’t lose your family just by calling for help – your mom seems supportive and she’ll stay with you! Your dad might just get some counseling; it’s better than letting him hurt you. But you do what you think is best for yourself, if you need anyone to talk to I’m here!

              • Varvara

                😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I don’t know you but may God bless you and thx I will keep you updated!! You’ve said the nicest things to me thx!!😭😭😭😭😭😃😃😃

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