The Bad Boy Concept

The first bad boy that comes to my mind is Sawyer from Lost... I always preferred Jack. (image via thegamecodex.com)

Maybe it’s just because I’ve always been attracted to the nice guy, but I cannot see why anyone would like a bad boy.

Actually, I can see why. Bad boys, at least the ones portrayed in pop culture, do possess some admirable qualities. They’re often confident, charismatic, and cool under pressure. Their stupid spontaneous behavior makes them thrilling and unpredictable, thus, exciting to be around. Besides, it’s not like we can control who we fall in love with.

However, I think some shallow people individuals underestimate the potential danger of being in a relationship with a bad boy. They are, you know, bad. Slick leather and sexy sunglasses can’t cover up irresponsibility, unfaithfulness, and inconsideration. I think that 95% of the time when girls and guys say they’re attracted to bad boys, they’re really saying that they’re attracted to the bad boy concept (or, image), not the bad boy himself. I mean, how could anyone possibly want to be with a scumbag cheater?

Cue ChunJi, who cheats on his girlfriends in Teen Top's music video for "No More Perfume On You". But look at his smile!

I’ve never encountered a bad boy like the ones shown in books and TV shows – I guess I should be thankful for that, but I doubt anyone could perfectly perpetuate such an image. When I think of a bad boy, I think of someone who is unreliable and doesn’t care about their girlfriend or boyfriend’s feelings. AKA, someone who’s not worth your time.

Are you a fan of bad boys? If so, what aspect of their personality/image are you attracted to? What do you think of when you hear the term “bad boy”?

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “The Bad Boy Concept

  1. Unfortunately, sometimes love is blind and you don’t see the ugly qualities until it’s too late.

  2. I don’t know if you had the song “Nice Guys” (chestersee, nigahiga, kevjumba on youtube) in mind when you posted this, but if you haven’t already seen this, you gotta watch it. Hilarious but sentimental, and I love the lyrics.

  3. merris

    a few years ago, the superficial me would have preferred bad boys over good boys anytime. but now, in my eyes they are just a bunch of insensitive, irresponsible,attention-seeker,lady-charming jerks who don’t even deserve all the attention they(usually)get.

  4. that is so true! i think it depends on the level of the bad boy. in my opinion, a boy/girl who *looks* badass but does not *act* badass (i.e. jonghyun, T.O.P., Sebastian, Germany) is far more loveable than those who look and act badass. im basing that off the “bishie” image, though, (because ima anime/manga fan) (but in that case im twisted on a guy like grell cause hes one helluva bamf but he is sooo the type to kill on a whim…)
    note, i am saying badass instead of bad boy, because a “bad boy” brings to my mind, either the delinquent who might end up getting you killed (i read too many thrillers) or the school kid troublemaker, stuck in detention, type of person, both of whom are very very unattractive.

    • correction: does not *always* act like a bad boy (occasional spouts of bamf-ness, but not main)

      • You know, I think that’s exactly it. The image (emphasis on image) can be attractive because it exudes a confident personality, but if one were to follow that up with risky and stupid actions… not so attractive anymore. I agree that being in a relationship with someone who can get you killed or with someone who has to stay in detention all the time doesn’t sound so great. (;

  5. bad boys are often just good people who have had extremely horrible childhoods. the really charming ones are charming because it was a survival technique that they developed to stay alive. ive known many “bad” boys, some not as bad as others and now realize what really attracted me to them was the lostness not the badness. underneath many badboys is a lost boy. a lost little boy who was rejected by his parents, often abused, often made to live on his own and forced to deal with all the cold mean hardships of life at a very young age. this was the main attraction for me and most likely for many people, that pull of the heart to make up for what they lost out on when they were just tiny little innocent souls. of course it is a very difficult thing to try to love a wild wounded being. theres a quote that says ‘those that are the hardest to love need it the most’. that need is what draws me to the lost folks, not just as lovers but also as friends. it is my favorite genre. i think its also what lead me to study psychology. and thanks to that now i have the tools to see them for the wounded creatures they are, to set boundaries with them and help them and in some instances to just steer clear entirely. because sometimes they are just too fierce and wild and careless. and it just hurts too much to try to heal them with your love. if youre truly drawn to them you most likely have experienced that loss somehow in your own life experience. its an excellent opportunity to look into your own heart and follow it to your own self love and healing and therapy is an excellent tool to help in that endeavor.
    to all the lost souls ❤ XO ❤

    • Hm, interesting point, thanks for bringing it up. I agree that some bad boys have had difficult pasts and struggle to show their true emotions – thus, why they lash out at others and act unpredictably at times. I also agree that it’s good to attempt to help these people overcome their problems – but if it becomes too much for you, to let them go or recommend them to a professional. Indeed as a person studying psychology I’m confident you enjoy healing people and helping them out, which is great because humans should strive to support their fellow man – not just in this case, but in general.

      However, not all bad boys have lived lives of insurmountable hardship. I’m sure that there are rude, unkind guys out there who are the way they are simply because that is their personality. In these cases I doubt any amount of emotional reform would remove their negative aspects – it may be difficult to discern if a person is the way they are only because of the way they are, but if one realizes that they are associating with someone who is intrinsically bad, I would recommend staying far away.

      Once again, thanks for reading and for commenting!

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