In less than a week, I’ll be seventeen.
I’ve always been independent. As a toddler, I played with my toys alone. In middle school, books came before drama and socializing. Even now, in high school, I like to keep a part of myself closed off from others – not because I’m a misanthrope, but because
I have no friends there are things that I’m not quite comfortable sharing. I’m sure everyone knows how that feels.
But in the past couple of years, I’ve opened up a lot. To the readers of this blog, to my close friends in real life, and even to myself, to an extent. A lot has happened this year, especially, that has forced me to reevaluate my perspective of people and of life.
And right when I’m reaching a steady spot, things change. In two years, I’ll be an adult. I’ll have to leave behind many of my friends and my family as I go to college. I’ll possess more responsibilities than I do now, and I won’t come across second chances as often. People’s expectations of me will be enhanced; it will no longer be “wow, look at this guy, he writes so well for someone in high school!” – but a constant battle to better myself and my control and mastery of language.
I want to say that I’m worried, that I’m scared, or that I wish I could stay young. But I would be lying. I know how people cling to their youth, clutching in their hands and their minds the thought of remaining free from responsibility forever. Truthfully, though, I’ve waited for this for so long – for the freedom that that responsibility comes with.
In a myriad of my past posts, I’ve ended on a hopeful note, focusing on the future and the opportunities it would allow me. Now, that future is so close. I’ll be able to study what I want to study at college, to travel the tracks that I choose, and expand my horizons by meeting new people and ridding myself of old ones. It’s like a dream come true, a life I would love to live, and it’s only getting closer.
Some see birthdays as reminders of their waning youth. Some view birthdays as a time for partying and gifts. This upcoming Friday, my birthday will serve as a mark of how far I’ve come, and how much further I’m going to go.
Just felt the urge to write something on this beautiful Saturday spent indoors doing homework – I would love to hear other people’s thoughts about growing up and getting older. For those who are older than me, do you remember how you felt about growing up when you were my age? Perhaps in twenty or thirty years I will look back at this post and think to myself “wow, what an idiot… why did he ever want to grow up?”
Also, here’s my brief review of Spoon River Anthology by Edgar Lee Masters on Goodreads. I feel like it would have been a waste to create a separate post for a review only a paragraph long. I’ll see you guys next time, and definitely in less than week – I’ll most likely post pictures of birthday gifts or something of the sort on Friday or at the latest Saturday. Until then, have a great rest of the week and read a book!