For the millionth time, I detest writing about gay people. As Just Josh touches upon in this post, homosexuality should not be (and, it isn’t) such a big deal.
Yet, I love educating and enlightening people. The purpose of this post will be to clear up some of the misconceptions concerning what I like to call, the Gay Best Friend Theory. Clearly this theory doesn’t apply to me, as I’m gay, but I have no friends, so…
Anyway, I’m sure you’ve heard someone on TV or someone in your school say something along the lines of “Oh my gosh, I need a gay best friend” or “Ugh, girls are so stupid, I wish I had a gay best friend.” There’s an idea in pop culture and in contemporary society that straight girls just need a (stereotypically male) gay best friend. Heck, Teen Vogue told its readers that “GBFs” are the new hottest accessory.
I like to logically think about things before I tear them apart. I can see why the stereotype of the “gay best friend” is so prevalent, excluding the effect of the media. Maybe girls assume that all gay guys have supreme fashion sense and will help them with their outfits. Maybe girls assume that gay guys won’t get involved in drama like other girls do and won’t compete for the boys they’re interested in. Maybe girls assume that every gay guy needs a shoulder to cry on and that they can shower the gay guy in “it’s okay to be gay!” sympathy in exchange for someone who will listen to their life stories.
If you yourself believed in any of the stereotypes that I wrote in that previous paragraph – not including the first sentence – listen up. I have a thought that may blow your mind, irrespective of whether you are a straight female or a gay hippopotamus.
Not all gay guys will want to be your friend. In addition, you will not want to be friends with every gay guy you meet.
I’m pretty sure most of you reading this post are shaking your heads right now and thinking: that’s it? I know, it’s an extraordinarily simple concept, yet you would be surprised how often girls (and occasionally guys) miss this.
There are gay people out there who have horrid fashion sense. There are gay people out there who are jerks. There are gay people out there who love playing football and getting drunk with the guys and want nothing to do with “Glee” or Madonna or purple nail polish.
most horrible and pathetic funniest thing is when girls who supposedly support gay people believe that there is something advantageous to having a gay best friend solely based on the fact that he’s gay. In fact, that’s the reason I’m writing this post. I know how girls hates to be objectified. Contrary to my self-deprecating comment above, I have quite a few female friends. They hate it when people think that they want to be thinner because they’re female. They hate it when people think that they have to wear makeup. And yet, some girls who claim to be accepting of gays objectify them and further perpetuate society’s stereotypes by flinging around labels like the “gay best friend.” Unintentional hypocrisy at its finest.
The point I’m trying to make is similar to the one I made in my post about why high school relationships fail. You aren’t friends with someone because of his or her sexuality or because of what other people think – you’re friends with someone because you have similar interests, you genuinely care about each other, etc. And if you have a gay best friend who shares your love of fashion or Lady Gaga, that’s fine! There’s nothing wrong with that.
Just know that there’s nothing that differentiates straight best friends from gay best friends, besides the obvious. Perhaps I’ll start randomly labeling my friends. “Totally Attractive Fictional Best Friend”, “Imaginary Best Friend From Second Grade”, “Best Friend Who I Paid to Associate With Me in Public”, all come to mind.
Any thoughts? Do you have a homosexual best friend, friend, or acquaintance? Do you know anyone who objectifies gays by using the “gay best friend” label? Do you have friends at all? Because I don’t, and it would be great to hear what having friends feels like… until next post!