Two nights ago I submitted all of my college applications. I can’t pinpoint the feeling that followed – it was a mixture of hope, anxiety, euphoria, and relief.
I remember that at the beginning of high school, I had no idea who I was. I didn’t know my passions and I had no plans for the future. Self-deprecating thoughts consumed me and my fear of my mother made me anxious to escape, even though I had no idea how I would do that.
But I’ve made it so far, as cliche and conceited as that sounds. I usually don’t give myself breaks; when I submitted my college apps, I thought to myself, what’s next? Taking the past four years in, though, has made me realize how far I’ve come and how much I’ve changed. It hasn’t been a perfect or painless ride, but I’ve learned a lot in high school – about academics and about myself. I’ve made a few super close friends and accomplished other things as well, such as maintaining this blog for over two years (its anniversary was on the 16th!)
The college application process has shown that I’ve survived. Of course I could’ve done better in a few of my math and science classes, and obviously there has been a mistake or two. But here I am, moving onto the next step. I know who I am and I know what I want, way more than I did freshman year as I stepped foot into high school.
Now, for the rest of senior year and when I enter college, it’s time to make my dreams happen. Before I do that, though, I’ll take a break and read for a bit. I think I’ve earned it.