A minor spat with the roommate, a lot of reading, not much time to relax, some forced socializing, a lost room key – all of that and more, in my first twelve days at college.
But, despite the stress, I’ve been having the time of my life. My roommate and I are pretty close even though we have different interests – him, computer science/linguistics, me, English/Psychology. While I’ve had a ton of reading to get through on a daily basis it has been enjoyable; the experience of discussing texts with others who value words as much as I do is also enlivening. The forced socializing of orientation led to me meeting quite a few new friends, though I can tell I’ll get closer to some more than others. There’s just so much to do here: I’ve already found a job, but beyond that there are creative writing clubs, lit mags, the gay/straight alliance, and a myriad of organizations I’m interested in.
The question that I keep coming back to: what am I going to do with my life? Two weeks haven’t passed and I’ve already thrust myself into the throes of preemptive anxiety. The plan had been so simple just a month ago: go to college, learn as much as I can, become a fantastic teacher and writer. But I see so many new possibilities now – do I want to go to grad school for English, Education, or Psychology? Obtain a PhD and become a professor? Stick to high school or maybe go into research?
Thanks to Queer as Folk I came across this song, and at least for now, it answers my question. Every day I will do at least one thing that makes me proud, whether it be writing a page or reading a book or trekking to the gym across campus. As long as I maintain my passion for learning and my desire to make a difference, it’ll all work out. I don’t know when, or how, or why, but there’s no point in poisoning my mind with unfounded worries for the future.
We are where we are. Take three deep breaths: one for the past that you promise to let go, one for the future and its highs and its lows, and one for the present, the here and now, because it’s all you need to know.
For those of you who have been through college, how did you handle all of its facets? For others, is there anything in your life stressing you out? Sorry for the spontaneous personal update post – just wanted to explain why I’ve been so busy and why I haven’t posted anything besides book reviews as of late. Hopefully when I figure out when my extracurricular activities will take place I can come up with a more efficient writing schedule. Also, you can check out my brief review of Daughter of Smoke and Bone here, as well as an intriguing TV pilot one of my blogging friends is attempting to produce here.