Control

The other day I had a thought spiral about whether I will ever date a man. I felt frustrated, wondering what I had done in my past life (e.g., vote for Ronald Reagan) to deserve my attraction to men, while simmering in the injustice of not having met a man who interests me. When I slowed down and named these thoughts and feelings, I realized: wait a second, I literally don’t care about dating a man. I would be 100% happy if someone told me right now that I will never meet a man I want to date, or if I’d meet this person in ten years, or five. I recognized then that my angst came less from a lack of romance and more so from a lack of control about when and how this person may emerge or not.

A few days ago, I got a text from my bio mom that reminded me of where some of my control issues come from.

Personal Update: 600,000 Views, 450 Posts, and Ratchet Parking

The day after I published my post about hating straight white men, my blog reached 600,000 views – huzzah! This post itself acts as my 450th, and thus, I thought I would reward everyone and make their confidence as drivers increase indirectly by sharing a picture of my somewhat ratchet parking, from the folder on my computer titled “Ratchet Parking Compilation”:

Personal Update: Progress

The year isn’t even over yet and I’ve already won! Victory.

Two nights ago I submitted all of my college applications. I can’t pinpoint the feeling that followed – it was a mixture of hope, anxiety, euphoria, and relief.

I remember that at the beginning of high school, I had no idea who I was. I didn’t know my passions and I had no plans for the future. Self-deprecating thoughts consumed me and my fear of my mother  made me anxious to escape, even though I had no idea how I would do that.

But I’ve made it so far, as cliche and conceited as that sounds.

A Purely Personal Post in Which I Write About Books, the SATs, Life… etc.

Hi guys! I’ve decided to write this post to prove that I actually have a life, ha to share with everyone what’s going on in my life and why my updates have been so infrequent as of 2012. I really do want to write and blog and what not, but unfortunately I’ve been suffering from a severe lack of time. Trust me – whenever I have an idea to blog about, I write it on an electronic sticky note which I proceed to post on my desktop… right now, the sticky notes are starting to overlap each other. I literally cannot see my desktop background.