Tag Archives: cyanide and happiness

A Post For My Father

A few nights ago, I wondered what it would feel like to cut off my ears.

I remember thinking something similar when I was thirteen or fourteen. I was in the car with my mom, sitting in the passenger seat as she screamed at me. This I was used to – what scared me was how she had formed her hands into fists and was punching the leather of her seat as well as the surface of the dashboard. While I cannot claim to remember exactly what had caused her anger, I do recall that it was something insignificant. Perhaps I had closed the car door a little too loudly. Maybe I looked at another boy who walked by for a little too long.

But, as she spewed poison and purged her anger, I thought to myself: I wonder what would happen if we got into a car accident right now. I wonder how much of myself I would be willing to give away for her to disappear. I proceeded to bargain mentally – would losing an arm be worth not having to put up with the abuse anymore? How about an arm and a leg? All of me?

Looking back, I realize how melodramatic and shallow those thoughts were. Continue reading

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Filed under Personal

The Gay Best Friend Theory

For the millionth time, I detest writing about gay people. As Just Josh touches upon in this post, homosexuality should not be (and, it isn’t) such a big deal.

Yet, I love educating and enlightening people. The purpose of this post will be to clear up some of the misconceptions concerning what I like to call, the Gay Best Friend Theory. Clearly this theory doesn’t apply to me, as I’m gay, but I have no friends, so…

Unlike me, Chris Colfer is gay and has lots of fans and followers. He even published a book! A man of many talents. Image via timeinc.net.

Anyway, I’m sure you’ve heard someone on TV or someone in your school say something along the lines of “Oh my gosh, I need a gay best friend” or “Ugh, girls are so stupid, I wish I had a gay best friend.” There’s an idea in pop culture and in contemporary society that straight girls just need a (stereotypically male) gay best friend. Heck, Teen Vogue told its readers that “GBFs” are the new hottest accessory.

I like to logically think about things before I tear them apart. Continue reading

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Filed under Society

Why Long Distance Relationships Fail

Upon request, here is the awaited by no one long-awaited sequel to my popular post “Why High School Relationships Fail”. I wish I had a legitimate statistic regarding how many of these relationships remain successful, but, I do not – however, I do strongly believe that more often than not they disintegrate. Before you start fighting me in the name of love, hear me out. Then you can violently disagree and curse me out, in the form of a polite and non-aggressive comment.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder. A true statement. After all, if you are infatuated with someone, shouldn’t you wish to see that person more and more? And when you’re not able to see that individual, your desire increases – you want what you can’t have, especially when it comes to love.

But what happens when you’re not able to see that person in the flesh for five months? Continue reading

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Filed under Society