Love Me, Hate Me, Talk to Me: Why I Will Keep the Quiet Voice

I remember screaming in the middle of a filled parking lot several months ago. My sophomore year in college had just ended, and my entire high school friend group had discarded me, for reasons belonging to both me and them. I felt so alone sitting in my car, right outside the central shopping mall of my hometown where we all used to hang out. My hands gripped the plastic covering of the steering wheel as ugly animal sounds shot out of my body and filled the stale air around me. I hated myself in that moment: I hated how isolated and weak I felt, I hated how I had pushed my friends away and how they had stayed away, and most of all, I hated my inability to treat myself with the compassion I so often applied to others. This is painful and this is pathetic, I recall thinking to myself. Pull yourself together. Now.

A Post About Prom (And Why You Don’t Have to Go)

Hundreds of dollars spent on a single night. A messy attempt to organize a herd of hormonal adolescents. Drama that could damage friendships for a lifetime. It caused one of my friends so much stress that she considered harming herself. It made another friend screenshot several posts in a Facebook group, just so I could see a cat fight unfold. Girls at each others’ necks, hunting for dates no matter what it takes. Some call it a good time.

I call it prom.

The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams

Cover via Goodreads.

5/5 stars.

A lot of the literature I’ve read for school this year has disappointed me. It’s great that we got to read and watch The Glass Menagerie as part of my AP Lit class, because I reclaimed my title as extremely obsessive fanboy extraordinaire.

There’s just so much to love in this play.

A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry

Cover via Goodreads.

Rating: 3/5 stars.

A Raisin in the Sun details the story of a working-class family struggling to make ends meet. The Youngers are then faced with a difficult decision that brings their colored heritage and the lives of their ancestors to the forefront.

Although this book and Death of a Salesman have some similar themes, what makes A Raisin in the Sun much better is its dynamic dialogue and the conflicting desires of its characters.

Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller

Cover via Goodreads.

Rating: 2/5 stars.

When I finished reading this book in my AP Literature class, I literally cheered, clapped, and high-fived my friends sitting next to me. The cycle of complete despair had been broken! My soul could now sing a song of optimism and joy!

Before I read this book, I still had a sliver of doubt in my mind. The doubt that I should include a myriad more classics to my reading list, that my brain would rot and rupture under the strain of contemporary fiction.

No. Just, no.

The Story of Us by Deb Caletti

Cover via Goodreads.

Rating: 2/5 stars.

I must make a comparison to Sarah Dessen. Sarah Dessen’s books deal with teenaged girls finding their way in the world while fixing some flaw or issue in their lives. Her books are consistently great – so consistently great that some say they are formulaic. I, for one, love Sarah Dessen. Maybe it’s the romance maniac in me, or maybe I just love how she always amazes me with her writing. She’s like that annoying kid in your AP English class who always picks up on the simile or metaphor before you do, and always recognizes the right answer.

Deb Caletti’s books also deal with teenage girls finding their way in the world while fixing flaws and overcoming issues. This is where the similarities between Caletti and Dessen end.

Lone Wolf by Jodi Picoult

Cover via Goodreads.

Rating: 4/5 stars.

Luke Warren finds it easier to live with wolves than with his own human family. His son, Edward, has resided in Thailand for the past five years after having a fight with his father, and his wife, Georgie, has divorced him. Now he only resides with his seventeen-year-old daughter, Cara. But after a devastating car accident leaves Luke comatose and Cara injured, Edward is forced to come back to the states and choose with Cara whether or not his father should be taken off life support. Edward and Cara’s conflicting attitudes toward their father makes the decision difficult, and the things that they will do to get what they want could tear their family apart forever.