Dynamic

I love my closest friends just as much, if not more than I love Jeni’s ice cream, “Lovesick Girls” by Blackpink, sashaying away from mediocre white men, “Feel Special” by Twice, and celebrating the joy and empowerment of femme people of color combined. Thus, I feel annoyed when I see social media posts like this one:

On one hand, I get it. I do have friends, who I care about and respect and appreciate, who I see or talk with on an infrequent basis, maybe once a month, every few months, or a year. These friends share similar values to me in relation to social justice and compassion for other people. I like the flexibility of checking in with them on a nonrigid timeline, and I recognize the benefits of having casual, yet still meaningful social support in addition to my relationship with myself and my relationships with my two best friends.

At the same time, I feel angry and sad about the notion that we should never have expectations of our friends, especially our closer friends.

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Things Change

My fists beat against the couch. Tears sting the scars on my face. Nothing matters anymore, now that I’ve failed. I didn’t get in. I didn’t pass the test. I didn’t get in. It’s time to say goodbye. I’ll never see my friends again. The bonds I’ve made, the lives I’ve touched, the games I’ve played – gone, forever.

I was only eight when my life changed.

The Benefits of Having Strict Parents

I haven't included a Cyanide and Happiness comic in a post for quite some time... ha.

It’s time to perform some damage control.

I admit to discussing my mom in a derogatory manner in posts like this one and hinting to her in my posts about child abuse. Although she is abusive, I don’t want people to presume that I’m an ungrateful little brat I don’t appreciate my parents. I really do.

There are the obvious things they do for me. My mom ventures out into the cruel world to provide me with sustenance, and my dad works grueling hours to pay for my expenses and future college tuition. They both buy me school supplies, the occasional book, and a variety of other material objects. Needless to say, I live a pretty nice life, and I am thankful for it.

What’s more important, at least to me, is how they raised me. By being strict and harsh, they’ve made me appreciate all the things others take for granted. They’ve given me the motivation to work harder in life.

Now, if you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, I know what you’re thinking: “but Thomas, your mom is so mean! You even said so yourself!” And, yes, that’s true.

There’s a fine line between strict and abusive – but it’s a clear one, too. When you’re around strict parents, you are careful to act respectfully and be on your best behavior. When you’re around abusive parents, you’re scared of what they’ll do, even if you haven’t done anything worthy of punishment. In my opinion, abusive parents are strict parents. Of course I don’t approve of abusive parents, but I do support strict parents.

A stern and exacting parenting method is good for children because they’ll be expected to succeed. Children who have parents that care a lot about their performance are more likely to exceed than those who have parents that don’t care. Like I stated earlier, kids with parents who have rigorous expectations are motivated to put in more effort as opposed to parents that let them do whatever they want. That way, they’ll also be more prepared for all the hurdles life has to offer, unlike the kids who grow up in a bubble of unearned affection and nonexistent reprimands. They’ll also be more courteous and respectful, which is always a plus.

Please excuse the messiness of this stream-of-consciousness post, I just wanted to make it clear that I do think parents should set standards for their kids. However, I do know how suffocating extremely strict parents can be, so, like many things in life, balance is essential.

What do you think of strict parents? What were your parents like, and how has it affected who you are and how you’ve matured?