Tag Archives: goals

Dreamland

In high school, I dreamed so much about going to college. I identified my top choice university my freshman year and worked my butt off the next four years to get in. I took tons of honors and advanced placement courses, I studied SAT vocab words while running on the treadmill to Lady Gaga and 2NE1, and I talked with my friends all the time about this school. While on one hand I saw college as the next step in my dream to becoming a psychologist, I also viewed it as an escape from my abusive mother. I saw college as a dreamland where I could free myself from her endless shouting and screaming and escape into freedom, into pure bliss.

I got into my dream school. But it turned out that college kinda like, sucked though. I spent my first year and a half in an unfulfilling, borderline-abusive friendship. Then when that friendship ended, post-traumatic stress disorder hit me like a brick. I cried in a lot of bathroom stalls and meditated in the midst of panic attacks in many others. I wanted pure bliss and got a ton of mess instead.

But not all of college sucked. Continue reading

10 Comments

Filed under Personal

Life Without Goals

I didn’t feel so well the other day. With ten minutes before class, I placed all of my books in my backpack, turned off the light switch in my dorm room, and slid my fingers across the door handle. A slight breeze from the AC unit made me shiver, a sign of sin to come. After a second of deliberation, I dropped my hand by my side.

Then, I skipped class. Continue reading

29 Comments

Filed under Personal, Society

My 2011-2012 School Year Resolutions

As an Asian a hard-working student, the end of summer and the beginning of the school year is an important time. Summer break is rapidly coming to a close, with only a little more than a week before school starts (September 6, for me). I figured this was a good time to write down some of my priorities – academic and non-academic – so I can come back to this post at the end of the calendar year and evaluate my failure success.

Before I forget, I’ll be a junior in high school. And you know what that means…

I'll get through these... eventually.

1. Study and succeed on the SAT, especially math. Okay, I’ve taken the SAT once already and scored decently… excluding the math section. I received a 590 (72%), paling in comparison to my performance on the reading and writing sections. I’m aiming for a 650, and people I’ve talked to say that to achieve that score only requires a lot of practice. Which brings us to #2…

The summer assignment I finally finished yesterday. Expect a review soon...

2. Stop procrastination. This is probably the most unrealistic goal on the list – I doubt anyone could completely staunch the desire to put things off until the next day, but it’s worth a shot. With three AP classes and two honors courses I’ll need to get things done as soon as possible, and hopefully after posting this I’ll at least get things done sooner than I usually do. Because when it all piles up, things turn nasty…

3. Don’t overreact. The Rapture turned out to be fake, and I bet I’ll live through 2012 and beyond. However, sometimes in my most stressed-out moments I cannot help but feel like the world is ending and everything I’ve worked for will turn into dust. It’s one of the few things I admit to inheriting from my mom: the tendency to blow things out of proportion when I’m overwhelmed. Thankfully, I’ve learned a few methods to cope with this, like focusing my attention on something else and transitioning into another activity. Speaking of activities…

4. Continue blogging. I might not be able to post daily or every other day like I have been lately, but I’ll definitely continue to post once a week or more. I love sharing my thoughts on various subjects through this blog, and I’m so appreciative of all the feedback I’ve received and the readers I’ve gained.

5. Stop self-deprecating. More on that here.

Enough about me. What are your school year/end of summer resolutions? Do we have any in common?

10 Comments

Filed under Personal