Gay Men Will Not Make You Friends

I have posted about the fallacy of the gay best friend before, but since then I discovered this article from the Huffington Post, so I want to remind everyone: gay men do not make good friends.

Let me backtrack. Gay men may make good friends. But this article – which I read as a parody at first because of its awfulness – assumes that all gay men share ten key characteristics.

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Gone, Gone, Gone by Hannah Moskowitz

Cover via Goodreads.

Rating: 5/5 stars.

Voice. That makes this book about the 2002 Beltway Sniper Attacks come alive. Told through the alternating perspectives of Cody and Lio, two boys trying to find their place in this world, Gone, Gone, Gone will cause you to squeal in delight even as it sucker punches you in the stomach.

Where You Are by J.H. Trumble

Cover via Goodreads.

Rating: 3/5 stars.

Robert Westfall has never had it worse – his father is terminally ill, his aunts are cruel and unsupportive, and the life he always envisioned for himself seems less and less appealing every day. Only in Calculus do his fears fade, and it’s mostly because of his kind teacher, Andrew McNelis. Mr. McNelis watches Robert flail from afar and with time offers a guiding hand. But what happens when Mr. McNelis’s role in Robert’s life changes from that of a confidante, to a friend, to something more…?

Queer as Folk Series Review: No Apologies, No Regrets

Imagine 2000. The Boy Scouts of America banned not only gay leaders, but gay youth. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell discriminated against and silenced gay members of our military. Not a single state legally recognized gay marriage.

Queer as Folk aired its first season in 2000.

The Meaning of Matthew by Judy Shepard

Cover via Goodreads.

Rating: 5/5 stars.

The name Matthew Shepard brings to mind gay rights, hate crimes, and a brutal death brought upon by ignorance. But in The Meaning of Matthew, Judy Shepard, Matthew’s mother, points out an important fact: Matthew wasn’t perfect, an angel, or a saint. He was human.

Homophobia: Hypocrisy Optional

Here’s something you wouldn’t hear on the street without a few heads turning: I’m not racist, I just don’t think black people deserve to get married! Lately I’ve encountered several statements from various individuals – ranging from online posts to acquaintances in real life – that have offended me in a way akin to the example above. Here’s the definition of homophobia, in case anyone has forgotten.

Antipathy (noun): A deep-seated feeling of dislike; aversion. Example: I have an antipathy toward Calculus and cat-haters.

At least people who recognize their resentment toward homosexuals don’t deny their beliefs. Others, however, adopt a “holier than thou” attitude under the pretense that they actually accept gay people… for the most part. Allow me to share a few examples.

Bisexuality, Common Sense, and Cute Bisexual Dolphins

Here’s the bad news: there’s been some serious biphobia stirring in the gay community. Let me repeat, the gay community. Not like it’s okay for straight people to hate bisexuals, but I find it ironic that those who suffer prejudice due to their sexualities would perpetuate the cycle further. It’s similar to how I find it strange when black people condemn homosexuality using biblical arguments, when those same arguments kept them from getting married (and kept them enslaved) not too many years ago.

Dan Savage, a leader in the gay community, cast doubt on the authenticity of those who declare themselves bisexual. Glee, a popular musical comedy well-known for its support of gay rights, sends negative messages regarding bisexuality on several occasions. No one is perfect and even those who preach tolerance make mistakes, but if these paragons of acceptance diss bisexuality, who knows how many people will follow in their footsteps?

Let me tell you a secret.

High School Senior Jacob Rudolph Comes Out: Do I Care?

Screenshot via the video Jonathan Rudolph posted on Youtube (link in post.)

If this happened in my high school, I’d probably politely clap and continue reading my novel observing the award ceremony.

No, really. The Yahoo! article about Mr. Jacob Rudolph reminds me of that article I read about the professional bowler who kissed his husband. There are more important happenings in our country and in the world – Morocco’s adjustment of its rape marriage law, North Korea’s promise to nuke the United States, and the horrible living conditions in Mali to name a few. I think that most of us can agree that there are bigger events that deserve the media’s attention, widespread occurrences that directly affect a larger amount of people.

But keep in mind that gays have gone through so much.

Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin

Cover via Goodreads.

Rating: 5/5 stars.

A beautiful, haunting book about a man who moves to Paris to find himself – only to fall in love with a man and lose himself even more.

Heteronormativity: I Kissed A Girl, Didn’t Like It So Much…

I remember sitting after school with a female friend of mine. I was helping her with some trigonometry homework and decided to bring up another problem – one unrelated to the unit circle and pi.

“So, comparative government has been kind of crazy lately, don’t you think?” I asked, turning to look at her.

“Yeah, with the election and everything everyone’s been kind of politically charged,” she replied.

I ventured on, “Do you mind if I ask for your opinion on a couple of risque subjects?”

She put down her pencil and said, “Sure, no problem.”

Let me make myself clear – I’m not the type of guy who makes assumptions without evidence. But, to put it bluntly, I thought that maybe – maybe – this female friend of mine might have had a teeny crush on me. Me, as in, a homosexual. From inviting me to Homecoming, to casually consistent brushes and touches, to other questionable remarks, the evidence added up. I wasn’t sure, and I’m still not sure, but after months of waiting I wanted to establish the firm boundary of friendship before things got ugly.

“What do you think of abortion?” I asked.