The Problem With Being Yourself

We’ve all been raised to be someone else.

Newton was a nonconformist… I guess. I sort of just wanted to include a Cyanide and Happiness comic.

We’ve been raised that way for a reason. Many examples can be found in education. Stay quiet, obedient, and unmoving, unless you’ve raised your hand and have been chosen to answer a question. Study the same material and think the way your teachers tell you to, so that you can be successful like everyone else. Don’t ask any difficult questions, don’t question the status quo, and don’t think about applying to the colleges that no one else aspires to attend, in order to fit in. From an early age we’re taught that being like everyone else and following the same, formulaic rules of society are the foundations of success.

Publicizing Unintentionally… Awkward

Last week I accidentally publicized my post about Key recommending Nicki Minaj’s album on Facebook. I didn’t realize it until three days later, and by that time everyone probably saw how I fan boy Key all the time. Not something I wanted my peers to see. Then again, I am posting this on a public blog that is available for everyone to view online. And I might as well accept the fact that I’m an obsessed individual with no life a unique guy with unusual, interesting tastes.

This introduces an introspective dilemma. Why should I be ashamed of my tastes? Who cares if I blog about pop and books and Key and whatever else happens to interest me? Probably no one, but that’s besides the point. I suppose I’m a bit shy when it comes to what people know and don’t know about me, and it makes me uncomfortable for people (especially people who I know in real life, strangely) to lurk on my blog without commenting. Or maybe I’m just a tad insecure – who knows what people think of me after reading this blog? I imagine them being like…

1. “oh, look at Thomas! he reads books! hahahahaha”

2. “LOL, he listens to kpop. and he’s not korean! hahahahahaha”

3. “KEY IS MINE NOT HIS MUST KILL MUST KILLLL”

4. “i spot a grammar mistake! i can’t believe thomas doesn’t know how to write english! and to think he reads in a corner all the time…”

My self-deprecating side just got a kick out of that. I actually don’t mind #1 and #2, but #3 and #4 concern me. #3 because I fear for my life, and #4 because I always believed I could write at least decently. I hope so…

Anyway, this post doesn’t really make any sense because I started with publicizing accidentally and then merged into insecurities over the internet… oh well! I have a copious amount of homework to do, so thanks for wasting your time reading this and have a great day (:

May Key be with you.

PS: By the way, today is the birthday of one of my best friends! Happy birthday best friend! You can visit her curry-based blog here.