Our Own World

On my 26^th birthday a couple of weeks ago, I spent a few hours jogging around Green Lake Park in Seattle, a beautiful expanse of water and naturey space in the middle of a dense urban neighborhood. When I paused to cool down on one of the docks that jutted out into the water, I reflected on how complete and fulfilling my life felt with stellar friendships, a deep sense of purpose, and physical and psychological health. I still haven’t dated a man yet, though I thought to myself, and I felt a tinge of sadness. I let myself sit with that sadness for a few minutes. Then I reminded myself that any emotional intimacy a man could give me, I’ve already gotten – through my immersive, loving, and in the past, challenging relationships with my closest friends.

Here is a picture of the edge of one of the docks at Green Lake, featuring my feet adorned by one of my favorite pairs of shoes! Yay for dedicated space for self-reflection in a capitalist society that always encourages productivity and accomplishments. Also, yes, I took this picture during a non-jogging trip to Green Lake because I would have disintegrated if I tried to run six miles to Twice’s “Feel Special” in these sandals lol.

Ten years ago, as a junior in high school, I started watching Queer as Folk for the first time.

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Help Me Home (College Post #4)

“Your first free write is to describe a setting,” my Creative Writing professor says. “Any setting. Go.”

My classmates’ pens hit paper like divers launching into a swimming pool – a blur of movement, and they’re off, splashes of syllables and sentences trailing in their wake. Meanwhile, I clutch the edge of the desk, my pencil forgotten in the kiddie pool.

“I cannot believe you would date him,” I say. “He’s clearly an idiot. Like 2% milk, just replace ‘milk’ with ‘brain cells.'”

Wait, I think, that’s dialogue, not setting. By the time I finish one sentence about a sprawling suburbia filled with shallow parents longing for their kids to do something other than each other, my professor calls time. I glance at my friend across from me, and I take a small breath of relief when I see she’s only written a couple of sentences.

Until she flips the page of her notebook, revealing several fleshed-out paragraphs. Go figure.

Would I Date a 30-Year-Old?

With my move-in date for college in less than a week, I doubt I’d get to meet many older men – but if I could, would I? Several times when age-gap relationships come up, people automatically react with comments like “oh, that’s so gross” or “what a pedophile.” I don’t support relationships in which one person takes advantage of another, but in terms of mutually consensual relationships in which the partners have a considerable age difference, whose place is it to discriminate?

Queer as Folk Series Review: No Apologies, No Regrets

Imagine 2000. The Boy Scouts of America banned not only gay leaders, but gay youth. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell discriminated against and silenced gay members of our military. Not a single state legally recognized gay marriage.

Queer as Folk aired its first season in 2000.

A Post About Prom (And Why You Don’t Have to Go)

Hundreds of dollars spent on a single night. A messy attempt to organize a herd of hormonal adolescents. Drama that could damage friendships for a lifetime. It caused one of my friends so much stress that she considered harming herself. It made another friend screenshot several posts in a Facebook group, just so I could see a cat fight unfold. Girls at each others’ necks, hunting for dates no matter what it takes. Some call it a good time.

I call it prom.

Homophobia: Hypocrisy Optional

Here’s something you wouldn’t hear on the street without a few heads turning: I’m not racist, I just don’t think black people deserve to get married! Lately I’ve encountered several statements from various individuals – ranging from online posts to acquaintances in real life – that have offended me in a way akin to the example above. Here’s the definition of homophobia, in case anyone has forgotten.

Antipathy (noun): A deep-seated feeling of dislike; aversion. Example: I have an antipathy toward Calculus and cat-haters.

At least people who recognize their resentment toward homosexuals don’t deny their beliefs. Others, however, adopt a “holier than thou” attitude under the pretense that they actually accept gay people… for the most part. Allow me to share a few examples.

18 and Flailing

One week ago I turned 18. Since then I’ve been dealing with bouts of depression by drugging myself on Queer as Folk. In a perfect world I would write “hey, guess what guys, I’m not a teenager anymore, so no more angst on this blog!” But this is not a perfect world, and I am not a perfect person. Adult angst exists. I just need to conquer it.