Tag Archives: sexuality

If I Could Choose

Oftentimes I despise feeling attracted to men. I love my gayness, it just sucks to be into men because we’re socialized to be uncommunicative, uncaring, and overall unsatisfying. Most days I wish I could choose not to be attracted to men, because then I wouldn’t risk abandoning my values or settling for someone mediocre.

About a week ago I felt super angsty reflecting on how I have no choice being attracted to men. Continue reading

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Bisexuality, Common Sense, and Cute Bisexual Dolphins

Here’s the bad news: there’s been some serious biphobia stirring in the gay community. Let me repeat, the gay community. Not like it’s okay for straight people to hate bisexuals, but I find it ironic that those who suffer prejudice due to their sexualities would perpetuate the cycle further. It’s similar to how I find it strange when black people condemn homosexuality using biblical arguments, when those same arguments kept them from getting married (and kept them enslaved) not too many years ago.

Dan Savage, a leader in the gay community, cast doubt on the authenticity of those who declare themselves bisexual. Glee, a popular musical comedy well-known for its support of gay rights, sends negative messages regarding bisexuality on several occasions. No one is perfect and even those who preach tolerance make mistakes, but if these paragons of acceptance diss bisexuality, who knows how many people will follow in their footsteps?

Let me tell you a secret. Continue reading

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Men in Miniskirts: A Satire

A few afternoons ago I was about to check my email when I saw this page. The first thing I noticed was the mention of male pixies, which always interest me. Then, I saw it.

My eyes! They burn!

My eyes! They burn!

As someone who regularly wears mismatched sweatshirts, skinny jeans, sweatpants, and sandals, I really don’t know much about fashion. But this, this was definitely wrong. When I laid my eyes on it, I couldn’t explain why – I couldn’t even really formulate a logical thought – but I knew it deep down. Deep down, in my intolerant, unaccepting, horribly superior mind, I knew that this was absolutely sickening. Continue reading

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Heteronormativity: I Kissed A Girl, Didn’t Like It So Much…

I remember sitting after school with a female friend of mine. I was helping her with some trigonometry homework and decided to bring up another problem – one unrelated to the unit circle and pi.

“So, comparative government has been kind of crazy lately, don’t you think?” I asked, turning to look at her.

“Yeah, with the election and everything everyone’s been kind of politically charged,” she replied.

I ventured on, “Do you mind if I ask for your opinion on a couple of risque subjects?”

She put down her pencil and said, “Sure, no problem.”

Let me make myself clear – I’m not the type of guy who makes assumptions without evidence. But, to put it bluntly, I thought that maybe – maybe – this female friend of mine might have had a teeny crush on me. Me, as in, a homosexual. From inviting me to Homecoming, to casually consistent brushes and touches, to other questionable remarks, the evidence added up. I wasn’t sure, and I’m still not sure, but after months of waiting I wanted to establish the firm boundary of friendship before things got ugly.

“What do you think of abortion?” I asked. Continue reading

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Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner (AKA, Something Stupid Religious Homophobes Say)

I’m Asian. Do you know what would really suck? If someone came up to me and said, “Yeah, I think being Asian will cause you to go to hell and that you’re committing a sin that will send your soul to eternal damnation. But, I still like you as a person though!”

Good thing that’s never happened to me.

Oh wait. It has. Sort of.

Hypocrisy at its finest. Image via bp.blogspot.com.

Hypocrisy at its finest. Image via bp.blogspot.com.

I like to think that I know the intent of the phrase “hate the sin, love the sinner.” It’s saying that people should forgive those who eat in excess or those who commit other sins that can be reformed – we have the right to be angry with the actions they’re taking, but we should still love the people and help them prosper and progress. Yes, you should hate the sick things sex addicts do, but should still love the sex addict as an individual and attempt to get him aid.

However, when it comes to homosexuality, this is a phrase that is often used by conservatives/religious people to try to mitigate the harshness of their hate. Continue reading

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The Problem With Being Yourself

We’ve all been raised to be someone else.

Newton was a nonconformist… I guess. I sort of just wanted to include a Cyanide and Happiness comic.

We’ve been raised that way for a reason. Many examples can be found in education. Stay quiet, obedient, and unmoving, unless you’ve raised your hand and have been chosen to answer a question. Study the same material and think the way your teachers tell you to, so that you can be successful like everyone else. Don’t ask any difficult questions, don’t question the status quo, and don’t think about applying to the colleges that no one else aspires to attend, in order to fit in. From an early age we’re taught that being like everyone else and following the same, formulaic rules of society are the foundations of success. Continue reading

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That’s So Gay

I’ve thought about writing this for a long time. Waiting for the right words to magically appear in my mind, hesitating because I didn’t want to post something so sensitive without the eloquence required. I realized, however, that there are many ways to spin something like why the phrase “That’s So Gay” is so, so wrong.

I hear the word gay misused on a daily basis. Here is the definition, taken from dictionary.com…

Gay (adjective): 1) having or showing a merry, lively mood… 2) bright or showy… 3) given to or abounding in social or other pleasures… 4) homosexual… 5) of indicating, or supporting homosexual interests or issues.

Here are some times I have heard the saying “that’s so gay”:
– Someone hits a tennis ball long, resulting in that person losing the point. “That’s so gay!”
– Someone receives a poor score on a test. “That’s so gay!”
– Someone loses their keys. “That’s so gay!”
– Someone is teased and in an attempt to recover, replies, “You’re so gay!”

None of the examples listed above actually pertains to the definition of the word gay – in fact, it is slander to those of the gay community. Gay people don’t make you lose your keys or mess up your tennis shot, that’s your own fault.

As a teenager who is enrolled in a public high school, I tend to hear words like “gay” and “retarded” thrown around a lot. Something one of my teachers said really struck a chord with me in this regard – he said that people who curse and use foul language only do so because they lack the intellect and knowledge to properly express their emotions.

It’s not like I have a huge grudge against those who use the word gay incorrectly. I even have acquaintances that do so. It just pains me that people say the word “gay” when what they really mean is “annoying” or “wrong”.

And I don’t think that people who say the phrase “that’s so gay” hate gays – maybe a few – but the majority probably just lack the compassion to say something less cruel, or have become so accustomed to saying it just because their friends and family do.

What I’m trying to say is this: how would you feel if someone targeted your sexuality or ethnicity in a negative way, even if it made no sense at all? What if someone said “that’s so heterosexual” after breaking their headphones, or “that’s so straight” because of an unfair grounding? What about “that’s so Asian”, “that’s so African-American”, “that’s so Caucasian”?

What about “that’s so human?”

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