Turning Away From Toxic

via dictionary.com

My mother has always spewed venom at me. Barbed words that wither my soul, sharp insults that dampen my spirit, and putdowns that have perforated my self-esteem. Of course she has supplied me with many opportunities which I am grateful for, but overall, I cannot say that she has served as a shining example of the type of person, or parent, I strive to be.

She and I have a toxic relationship. When we’re together, the air is thick with tension, as I wait for her to send some stinging comment my way. I’m always on edge, my mind a mix of worry and fear and panic. I don’t dare speak, as anything I say could be used against me. I manipulate my posture perfectly so she doesn’t accuse me of standing up too straight or slouching. I think of the future, of what life will be like when I am free from the confines of this curse.

Learning the Value of Optimism

Nowadays people say the word “optimist” like it leaves a sour taste on their tongues. But a few days ago, I never thought I would have succumbed to the sadness that had gripped me so strongly when I was younger – and I had never thought that I would rely on optimism to save me from it.

It all started on Monday morning. As a typical procrastinating buffoon high school junior I had received little sleep the night prior and had spent most of my time on Sunday studying for my Physics test. I was in my own little academic world, and yes, I was sufficiently stressed out.